The Pain of Days Long Gone...

This morning I woke and turned over to my back and stretched out and then had a thought that I guess had been lingering in the back of mind my for some time now. I had the feeling that I just wanted to be laying next to him, in his bed, in his room. I wanted to turn over and be nose to nose with him. I just wanted to be embraced by his arms once again. I even miss the corny little good morning/ goodnight text he used to send.    I sometimes if he reads some of these post and wonder if they are directed towards him. The little things in life mean so much more when you no longer have them. The pain of a void long gone, yes we've said that the past is now water under the bridge and that we can be friends but what does that really mean if we can't speak to each other as we once did? But should they mean so much if you aren't sure if there were real? Should I miss something that wasn't really mine to begin with?

Seeing Clearly.

Ah so after all the rain I was put through last week I am able to see and think with a clear head. I actually grew a lot between last Tuesday and right now. I no longer want to be petty about things and I want to own my emotions. I'll no longer let them get out of control, control me or be controlled by others. Now as for what happened last week, I'm willing to forgive the person for what they did but I will not forget and I know our relationship romantically wise has to be permanently severed. But as far as being platonic friends I would love to work on that but I'm not sure if that's a good mood or they would even accept me in that way. I can honestly say I miss being friends in every sense of that word. I miss the talks, randomly checking up on each other., the encouraging words and the jokes. *sigh* What to do?

I'm okay...

For the first time in WEEKS I can say this, my life is far from being free of problems. In fact, I know there are more to come but I feel a certain peace has came over me. Thank God.