The Truth

The truth is I miss you or at least I miss who I thought you were or maybe that's who you really are but the situation bought out the demon.  Another truth is you think I'm insane and you don't think much of me. I guess this is why the say the truth hurts.

The Worst Feeling...

is losing a friend so suddenly that you almost didn't see it coming.  You want to text or call them but you know there will be no answer so it's pointless. Betrayal hurts so bad, words hurt so bad, actions hurt so bad. I thought I'd be happier knowing that I was free from your lies. But I can't help but feel a void, a deep ache. Almost like you died.

It Was All Done in the Dark....

And we all know what's done in the dark eventually comes to the light.
So this guy I've been dealing with for sometime now got caught dead in his lie. Have you ever gave someone an open opportunity to be honest with you and they still lie? Well this is what happened to me basically I asked the guy did he mess with any other girls (because he asked if I talked with other guys) and if he did I wouldn't have a problem b/c I wasn't his girlfriend so he was pretty much free to do what he wanted. He swore me down that he wasn't and any time I asked he would shut that idea quickly and assure me that he was only dealing with me. I knew this wasn't the whole truth but I gave him the benefit of the doubt. (yes, go ahead and call me stupid b/c it was). Lately he had been really distant and not speaking to me as much as he used to and I saw some things between him and a girl he dated (that I happened to know) that looked a little suspect. Well today I tired of being left in the dark about things broke it off completely with him and said that I wanted my things back from him and all of that. And just to make sure I wasn't making an ass out of myself I messaged the girl myself and come to find out no they weren't together but they still spent a lot of time together and she just like me had her doubts b/c he was pretty much telling her what he told me. After our conversation she told him to get his stuff from her house. You know what this negro does? BLOCK ME FROM FB! She didn't tell him that I told him but I guess he connected dots or probably looked into her FB account. But anyway how is it that he's mad at me and he is the one that hurt and betrayed me. He can block, delete, erase me all he wants but it still doesn't change the fact that he is the one who has done wrong and he was caught! I'm glad I went about this in a mature way and finally asked what I needed to ask because if not I still would have been in the dark and being strung along! I've never been in a situation like this before but wow it is a lesson learned definitely. I pray for people like him though and their souls. I'm not perfect but I wouldn't do something that I knew in the end could ultimately hurt someone.

Tonight....

I came in contact with the reality, I can no longer sit in my denial. *

Here.

Why can't I just forget about you?
Why do I keep looking back at the good times with hope?
Why are you IGNORING me?
Why do I keep ending up here?

When it hurts so bad.....

One of the top worse feelings in the world is being ignored someone who's attention you want, some one's attention that you once had. I didn't ask for you come to me, nor did I chase, in fact, it was the exact opposite of that. And then finally you have me right where you wanted me and now you are starting to fade away. You say its my attitude but they way I acted was none but your fault, how can you constantly let a person down and then expect them to be okay with it at the end of the day? Every rejection is a stab deeper than any sharp object can deliver. We're supposed to be working on our friendship but again it seems one sided, sometimes I wish I never met you, all you have done is add to my problems. It really does hurt and I'm tired of trying to tell you that, you'll never understand.

Back to the Originals

Looks like I'm back where I started, for awhile I was using Tumblr for my personal blog but then I grew tired of how well....unblog like it was. It got tired of just seeing pictures in a newsfeed. I guess I can understand though, that reblog button gets pretty addictive, but it started to become the same thing over and over again. So I decided to slide back over to the site I've been in since 2008 under many different blog names and keep 'MUSE' as my personal and created a new blog called Under the Graffiti Bridge. Prince seems to always influence my blog titles man.